So I am tired of answering the same question asked repeatedly by my mother, friends, random strangers, wedding nobodies and the gold fish. ” According to general perception, modern apps and social networking means single women like me should not exist.
The same world looks different on Facebook, then it changes on Instagram, and now Snap Chat is just bizarre. I am praying he is not a grainy, monochromatic object. Does he scribble really uncool words in dirty handwriting on his Snap Chat?
I am praying there’s no beer belly because a full length shot is missing from his profile. It’s not easy, because I just don’t know, what’s really beneath those filters.
Mirror, Mirror on the wall I look pretty on Facebook.
I actually have a good 5 kgs more than what Instagram will show you. I can’t pout to save my life because I have too puffy cheeks.
I laugh too loud, which can be annoying or surprising, depending on how fast you want the date to end.
Apparently the top shot selfie does amazing things to my figure, and hides the double chin. I can’t talk to a large, pink, pimple instead of a face.
Damn that mirror, everything else will tell you, I am the prettiest of them all. Neither can I sit beside a garbage dump with bad breadth. Well, if you want a repeat date, or sex, put in some effort.
Take a shower, put on fresh clothes and maybe you will get lucky.
I know your mom told you that you’re God’s re-incarnation, but I need proof. Nobody is too jaded for roses, too old to eat ice cream out of the same bowl, too cynic to read out poetry.