Nerdlove recommends you text them in the same day or night to keep the emotional momentum going and to solidify yourself in their memory.You’ll become “that cute girl from the gym” instead of “some girl that I guess I talked to other day?” What you say in your first text message important (more on that later), but it isn’t nearly as important as you actually reaching out. As online dating coach Patrick King explains, they’ve already given you their number because there is some mutual attraction there, so you don’t have to stress as much about the possibility of rejection.
Someone you’re interested in dating gave you their number and asked you to text them. Wrong: your entire romantic future here could be determined by your first few text messages.
Here’s the best way to approach texting someone you want to date, according to the experts. How long do you wait to message that cute guy from the gym?
If you ask around, some people will tell you to wait for “this many days” before you make contact, but that strategy is flat-out silly. Nerdlove told us that you should always touch base sooner rather than later.
If you don’t text them relatively soon (or sit around hoping for them to text you first), a couple things can happen: that cute guy at the gym will either forget about you and that he gave you his number at all, or he’ll assume you’re not actually interested.
Don’t text him at odd hours, like late at night or really early in the morning. This was by far the most common advice you’ll find: don’t just text someone “hey.” In fact, if you browse some online dating profiles you’ll probably find people sharing the same advice.
Texting the cute guy from the gym when he’s trying to sleep will turn that “yay she’s texting me! While writing the book , comedian Aziz Ansari and Dr.
Eric Klinenberg, Professor of Sociology at New York University, organized hundreds of focus groups to decipher the modern dating landscape.
When they asked the focus groups about their personal texts, they found that participants unanimously agreed that the “hey” text is a bad idea. Klinenberg explain, the “hey” text seems like a perfectly harmless message to send, but that one word says a lot more than you realize. It makes the recipient feel like they’re not very special or important, and it makes you as the sender seem the same way.
No information is being shared, nothing is being asked of the recipient, and it’s incredibly easy to ignore.