True, she's a woman and wants to be seen as that but she's also a mother and she needs to be seen as that, too. Situations differ but generally speaking, if your once-partnered lady has kids, those kids likely have another parent that's still in the picture in some capacity. Your lover had a life before you and at some point, that included a partner with whom she had a kid or five. Sometimes that can be hard to do, but you can do it — even if her ex is a special brand of asshat — which brings us to our next point …
Here are ten things you should know if you want to date a single mom and not suck at it: 1. Between single-handedly managing parenting, a career, and running a household, there's often not much room for leisure. This can be challenging in the best, most-amicable of situations, thanks to our very human natures and pesky evolutionary flaws like jealousy. She loved, she created a family, and at some point, she let go.
Her free time is precious, and you're probably not getting all of it. So when she finds herself without children for a few hours or even a few days, don't blame her if she has a list of things to do and they don’t all include you — even if that list consists of binge-watching TV and sleeping in. Don’t just understand that they come first, embrace it. It’s something to be admired, even if it didn’t end up the way anyone had planned.
You know how to flirt, how to ask someone out, how to be charming, interesting, and an altogether enjoyable date.
If you've been in the dating scene for any significant length of time, you likely feel you've got it handled.
But what if you chat someone up only to discover she's not only single, but a mom?
Dating is one thing, but dating a single mom requires a new skill set. In the event you have found yourself really digging someone whose ex really makes you want to go WWE on his or her ass, we have a bit of advice for you: It's admirable that you feel protective of your partner and it's natural to have ill feelings toward someone who is hurting your partner in some way, but the best possible thing you can do in this situation is to let her handle it and support her as she does. No passive-aggressive Facebook posts, no antagonizing texts, no standoffs at the PTA fundraiser. A million dollars says she already knows, she already feels sh*tty about it, and she doesn't need to hear it from you.
Some like to wait until they have some confidence this isn't a flash-in-the-pan fling. While you're at it, let her know your feelings on all of it, too, because, you know, communication. (Balls joke avoided.) The sitter may bail on her, her kid may come down with the flu, she may just need to lay down for a while because trying to be Wonder Woman when you don't actually have superpowers is really fucking exhausting. Her life is full of responsibility and commitments and little people who need her.
Other mamas like to leave their kids out of their romantic lives entirely. While it's true that flakiness is something that's really only desirable in pastries, you should probably expect a little of it from your new woman — not because she wants to be a flake, but because juggling all the things can be really, really difficult, and sometimes she might drop an orb or two. And if you really want to win her over, have Thai food delivered. She probably can't drop everything and hop on a plane to Ibiza with you, and her schedule is probably measurably more complex than that of someone who is flying solo. Otherwise, let her do her thing while you sit back and marvel. Some mamas can't afford to shell out for a babysitter or don't like always leaving the kids behind so if you want to see her more often, you'll be getting to know her kids, too. Choosing to get involved with a single mom will in many ways not be as simple as dating someone whose life is less encumbered. Upside: You’ll have plenty of time to maintain your own friendships and hobbies, instead of becoming one of those obnoxious enmeshed couples who have forgotten they are not, in fact, surgically attached. You like this woman because she is capable and determined and basically an all-around life-conquering badass, right? If she is running up against challenges, offer her love and support and encouragement in whatever form speaks to her. She’s a grown woman who has managed to do a good job of kicking ass without you swooping in on your medieval white horse thus far, so let her keep doing that.