the other day (I admit it, I still love that show).
It was the one where Phoebe’s half-brother Frank, who’s 18, announces that he’s marrying his high school home economics teacher, who’s 44.
The dating expert told her to get over herself and the readers’ commentary ensued.
If you want to get people into a heated discussion, forget politics or religion – bring up an older woman wanting to date a man half her age.
This isn’t to say that the reverse doesn’t create a heated discussion.
A middle-aged man who gets divorced and wants to date 25-year-old women gets ridiculed for that even more than for buying the red convertible Corvette. Historically, men have been providers for women and children, so an older man can provide while a younger woman can bear the kids.
Some people struggle with the idea that many women have begun dating younger men. When someone, male or female, wants to ONLY date someone younger than themselves, especially if MUCH younger, they aren’t looking for love – they’re looking for an ego boost.
But more people struggle with the opposite notion: why younger men would want to date older women. But Census data don’t lie: from 1960 to 2007, marriages where the wife is at least five years older have increased, and marriages where the man is at least five years older have decreased. Men want to date older women because they are, on average, more independent, more confident, more successful, and more into sex. This isn’t my opinion – this is what the men have said. You will see this behavior in separated or recently divorced people who are middle-aged or older, like the woman I mentioned early in this post.“This Cougar thing is a fad,” my Dad said recently. It’s just for sex.” To my Dad, someone who has a history of choosing younger women, it doesn’t add up. But older women aren’t as hot as younger women, some argue. Anyone can look good when they get older, if they’re willing to put in some effort. These people aren’t impressed with what they see in their age bracket and swear they’re “different” than people their age.This model makes some sense in low resource situations or when women have no rights or education. As I say in don’t be strict with age limits on men, and don’t rule out younger men. However, the bigger the age difference, the more flack you’ll get from others, and, more importantly, the more challenging the relationship will be.Times Have Changed With the creation of birth control in the 60s as well as other social changes, more women are going to college and filling the workplace. Ideally, aim for a man no more than 10 years younger.More than 50% of medical school graduates are women and more women are running their own businesses. More than that is okay too, but once you get in the 15-20 years younger range, you’re dating a different generation altogether, and only in exceptional situations does this ever work out.When you can take care of yourself, you don’t need to look for a man to. And because of this, more women, especially older women, are opting to date younger men. These weren’t drunken 20-somethings at some bar; they were smart, good men I met at work, online, and through friends, and they were looking for a relationship. Also, there’s a difference between being open to younger men and ONLY wanting to date younger men.